The message itself
It's difficult to tell what is being asked here. This question is ambiguous, vague, incomplete, overly broad, or rhetorical and cannot be reasonably answered in its current form. For help clarifying this question so that it can be reopened, see the FAQ.
Ok let's look at this.
It's difficult to tell what is being asked here.
Your question more or less says "I'm an asshole! help me not be an asshole! but I want to be an asshole" and gives no information about anything specific but rather a few vague statements about what this means.
Your specific questions:
How do I work with the people but then get the heck away when they start into the cliquey talky crap? I've been busted a couple times rolling my eyes and walking away, but that's asshole.
What is this even asking? It's basically a "omg people suck" statement
How the hell do I make it thru the day without staring at the clock and talking myself thru it "cmon man you can make it... there's a bottle with your name on it when you get home." I'm seriously out of the habit of punching a clock.
This is a personal problem and considerably more suited for a site dealing with productivity and/or addictions.
As a pretty direct person in general, how do I not come off as just a gruff asshole?
This is completely vague, incomplete, overly broad, and rhetorical to boot.
It's relative to a problem that's plagued a different SE board that I'm more active on where the mods down vote responses that provide an actual solution or answer that don't necessarily directly answer the question.
Wait, you are complaining that on a Q/A site, people downvote non-answers? This isn't a discussion forum (well, meta somewhat is, but not the actual site).
- People post questions.
- People post answers to these questions.
- People vote on answers
Nowhere is there a "we have a long discussion." If you want that, go to chat. But I suggest you act considerably less hostile and arrogant if you want people to even give you the time of day there....
My personal thoughts...
I don't want to come off as just bitching here (I won't deny it's annoying), I'd actually like to understand.
You should consider step 1 of your recovery process: how you say things matters. If you intentionally come across as an arrogant asshole, don't be surprised if people react as such. You likely would have gotten a far better reception here if you HADN'T posted a complete rant that basically comes down to, "help me be an asshole at work. my coworkers don't like this - they are @#%#@ing idiots."