It's on hold, and I think there may be something in there worth saving, but not without a heavy edit. I have an idea, but I don't know how much help I could do with an edit.
Is this one a lost cause or can it be saved with some edits?
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2Maybe. If you cut out all the unnecessary ranting then you'd probably have a decently answerable question. But given that the question is at -7 already, the OP has been here long enough to know better than to post a rant like this, and that he's ironically acting pretty entitled himself, I'd say why bother? – Lilienthal♦ Jul 7 '17 at 19:00
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@Lilienthal good points – Old_Lamplighter Jul 7 '17 at 19:20
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@RichardU I made an attempt at an edit. What do you think now? – schizoid04 Jul 9 '17 at 22:11
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@Lilienthal With all do respect, you can't specify someone who is behaving that way without saying it. I could write you a book on the actions that would put everyone to sleep reading it, but stating someone is behaving a certain way doesn't make them what they are stating. You can say someone is a slanderer, does that make one a slanderer just for stating it? If it came off as a rant, that's not the intent, but to state behavior and how to actually handle it is...and frankly if you want the medical and Webster definitions along with the detailed behavior descriptions I can provide... – mutt Jul 9 '17 at 23:33
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Although personally I thought that approach would be a rant...so tried to go general. – mutt Jul 9 '17 at 23:33
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1@schizoid04 I've thought and can't figure out any other way to say it generically. I think I agree with David k. that it has to be unique circumstances addressed each time. narcissistic has a pretty standard definition and tons of resources for. Hubris filled and/or entitled to me is one step below that with the exception being they sometimes see other people, they just prefer their own opinions/desires over others. Both are team killing and difficult to address, but if there isn't a general way to say it, I think it's obvious my original statement on individual cases is the answer... – mutt Jul 9 '17 at 23:45
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@schizoid04 If you want to change it to just standard entitled or prideful people I think it would be answerable, although that doesn't match the extreme situations I was actually trying to ask about. – mutt Jul 9 '17 at 23:47
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1@mutt I was referring to your "Please only answer this question with the following". That's simply not how this site works: you don't get to dictate how people choose to answer. That along with the way you phrase things and the attitude coming across in the comments paints a picture of you that's not that positive and that doesn't tend to lead to people wanting to help you (case in point: the downvotes). – Lilienthal♦ Jul 10 '17 at 7:27
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Admittedly I could be reading too much into that. Perhaps you're simply using a rather formal register in your posts here. Re-reading your question I can see versions of asking this that aren't quite so judgemental and which could be useful. That's presumably why @RichardU created this post. But I'm not sure if you'd agree with such edits and the bigger issue is that you're unlikely to recover from this many downvotes. – Lilienthal♦ Jul 10 '17 at 7:27
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@Lilienthal Correct. I didn't know how to edit without being sure I wasn't changing it a point where it wouldn't match the OP's intent. – Old_Lamplighter Jul 10 '17 at 12:12
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2@Lilienthal I was trying to stay formal yes, sorry if it came off offensive, that was not my intent. I was hoping to deter opinion based answers with that part as it could have very easily turned into just an opinion post instead of a question. I'll keep that in mind to not come off "dictating" in the question and maybe try to be less formal in the future. – mutt Jul 10 '17 at 14:01
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@RichardU I appreciate the attempt along with schizoid04. Kilisi answered the manager part which I agree with, and the peer to peer part I still think there isn't truly a generic approach. I wish there might be which was the original intent of the question, but as it's been there awhile and no other generic answer is provided I really don't think there will be a generic approach and a unique case by case for peer interactions is perfectly fine although a little frustrating. – mutt Jul 10 '17 at 14:08
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I have worked a bit with multiple contract companies and a checked out client which leads to some of the dynamics behind this question which are usually not an issue in a regular work environment where everyone is accountable to the same chain of command. I'm fine with letting the question die... – mutt Jul 10 '17 at 14:10
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@mutt That sounds reasonable. You may want to talk to Richard in chat and see if you can't create a generic version of the question that would be on-topic here and reposting that anew. – Lilienthal♦ Jul 11 '17 at 8:35
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The only way I can see is to significantly reign in the scope of the question. Currently it wants a single method that works every time in every scenario... That is not how people work.
First the OP needs to define what Productive and Successful means to them. If the OP just wants the problem child to just churn out more widgets that solution is vastly different to the one where the OP wants to change the problem child so that they no longer have their obnoxious habits. As are some other options in the middle.
Second How can I change someone elses behavior questions just do not work here. They tend to be discussions and people post answers and get comments like I have already tried this and it didnt work... then the response well try again differently... Oh I had this problem too we tried X but it didnt work... 5 single line answers of things to try with no explanation... etc
These type of questions work on Reddit, 4chan, and Forums but not on a site like this where we focus on quality answers not guesses and discussions.
answered Jul 10 '17 at 15:48
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Yea, that's why I asked for the bullets to try and avoid the comment opinion things. I don't mind leaving it closed, I got the answer to my genuine question which confirmed my suspicions that it needs to be a unique situation each time instead of a standard approach. – mutt Jul 11 '17 at 16:05
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@mutt - its nothing personal and your question is not so horrible that it deserved the downvotes being piled on imo. It just isnt something that works here. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 11 '17 at 16:16
After all the edits, the OP still needs to define self-obsessed, self-absorbed and entitled. These are all labels (conclusions, interpretations), no actual things happening in time and space, so we have no idea what we are actually addressing.
I at least want to see some actual examples, in my book the question is 'unclear what yuou are asking'.
There is an answer talking about people who think too highly of themselves, but is that the same as self-obsessed, self-absorbed and entitled?
No need, it already has a perfectly suitable answer, taking it off hold will not garner it a better one.
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4The reason for putting or taking off hold is not because of the availablity of good answers.... do you really not understand this? – IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 10 '17 at 14:59
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