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So I posted an answer to a new users question, my answer appears to be contentious, so I've tried to reduce the contention. But the comments and other answer seem to be outright abusive. I have no idea how to reduce this short of deleting my answer.

Just encase the comments section ends up in chat (where it really should have gone) I've attached an image of the comments so far.

HR treating new hires like kids

So meta obviously is for asking 'meta' questions, so I'm simply going to ask. Is it 'wrong' to post a contentious answer? It seems like the possible damage from the backlash to my answer is way higher than the value in the answer. If I had said nothing, then the OP would have had one or two answers of "you're behaving like a child" instead of a running commentary under my answer from a half dozen people reiterating that the OP is being childish and worse (more abusive) comments than than.

enter image description here

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    What's the goal of your meta post? Is it about the OP of the question being abused in the comments? Is it about how to deal with submitting an answer that divides the community? And if the latter is it the score that concerns you? The comments addressed to you? – Lilienthal♦ Sep 19 '18 at 16:12
  • On the topic of contentious answers: keep in mind that you're dealing with a HNQ question here. The cost of going against the grain by posting an unpopular answer is severe. While the HNQ users are less likely to sacrifice rep to downvote you, there are a lot of them. Any question that approaches hot-button topics from the "real world" in the vein of "It's illegal but fighting it will hurt you more" or "You shouldn't be treated like this but that's the reality you're dealing with." get a lot of flak from people who don't have to live with the consequences of sticking to principle. – Lilienthal♦ Sep 19 '18 at 16:15
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    I completely disagree with your answer/advice and downvoted it accordingly. Answers don't deserve abuse, but they sometimes are subject to challenges of assumptions (such as your conjecture that the facts as presented indicate a problem with the workplace culture). I don't know if I wrote a comment that was flagged and deleted (mods: how would I know?). But if I did, I would apologize for that. – Joe Strazzere Sep 19 '18 at 17:59
  • Sorry for the delay is response, life etc. Goal of the meta: figure A) should i delete my post, B) get peoples input cause i think thats valuable. C) find out if its wrong/bad to post an answer that might get backlash like mine did. Just learning like everyone else, sometimes its non-intuitive to workout workplace stuff – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 18:05
  • @Lilienthal sorry whats HNQ? And no the score is not a point of concern, nor the comments at me. The original thing was the amount of "your acting like a child" directed at the OP, my post attracted an extra dose of that which i thought was bad for the community because the OP would feel abashed – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 18:09
  • @JoeStrazzere ok, no worries - plenty of people have downvoted and i'm ok with that, i dont recognise your name, so assume you didn't write anything on the answer/comments. – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 18:13
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    @TolMera - I agreed with some of those pointing out the irony in the actions of the OP while complaining that they were being treated like a child. I couldn't find a good way to express it without coming across as snarky, so I decided not to write an answer. Still, I'm not sure which comments you found abusive. As was mentioned, any abusive comments should be flagged for moderator action. – Joe Strazzere Sep 19 '18 at 18:26
  • Just realise the two comments on mine were from the same guy, check the picture, two last comments. Guessing they have been removed from the post now. I agree as well that the OP has an ironic "when we are late" along side the 'treating us like children. Together they sound really bad. I get that :) - from my point of view, if there is a individual problem with lateness it would have been communicated by the OP differently, it sounds to me like they are seeing and experiencing the tonal issue from the trainers. Don't know if that comes across clearly?! – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 18:33
  • @TolMera - Ah, I see. the first comment has a flag - I assume for being abusive. I think that's appropriate. That comment seems to go over the line. But I see nothing abusive about the second (non-flagged) comment. It's blunt but not abusive, IMHO. – Joe Strazzere Sep 19 '18 at 20:57
  • @TolMera HNQ is "Hot Network Question" which is shown on the right sidebar of all SE site. Those visitors from HNQ usually can only upvote from their association rep bonus though, not downvote. – Andrew T. Sep 20 '18 at 4:53
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There's not an unbelievable amount of abuse here. There's been one comment, which you've flagged and has since been removed.

There are, unfortunately, times where people who ask questions are reminded that they should face reality and that life isn't always fair, or easy. Some people answering are more direct than others (sometimes people can be too direct).

If you see someone acting in an abusive/derogatory/bigotted manner, then please flag it as appropriate and we'll look into it.

There's also context here to be taken into account - training sessions typically require an acceptable level of punctuality, otherwise everyone in the class is affected when someone turns up late. This explains why people leading training sessions are quite firm on this matter.

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    Right, fair enough I've over exaggerate the 'unbelievable'. To my answer there were 2 abusive comments (one which I will go back and flag shortly). I feel like the currently highest voted answer is condescending to the OP, and the number of up-votes disturbs me (I don't feel like I would have upvoted based on their tact, not that their answer is wrong.) it was reading through all the stuff that I felt it was an overwhelmingly negative situation, and applied that feeling to my answer, obviously incorrectly - perhaps a loss of perspective. – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 13:17
  • When you say some people are too direct, I feel like your looking at me and Kilisi. – Neo♦ Sep 19 '18 at 13:20
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    @MisterPositive nope, your comments fine, so is kilisi's comment (which I had not seen until after reading your comment). Neither of them are personal attacks on anyone, and I even agree with kilisi that it's potentially bad advise, without more context from the OP (age, experience etc. Graduated in my country is normally something after 2~3 years of university, getting a batchelors or degree or similar, if they mean graduated highschool (they are 18ish~) then yea it's a different story. But anyway, no no issue with your comments or kilisi they are fine and constructive – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 13:34
  • ummm... I didn't even comment on that question at all..... I'm innocent for once I think :-) – Kilisi Sep 19 '18 at 14:53
  • Sorry... why should we flag an "appropriate" question? – PhD Sep 29 '18 at 5:13
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No it is not wrong to post such an answer. However it is also not wrong for people to not like your answer and comment on it.

If the comments are rude, flag them as such and move on. Our moderators are very good at taking out garbage comments.

I would suggest, respectfully, that you try to look at how your answer might be perceived by others. It might explain the votes and comments.

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  • Not to sound like I'm being dense, but could you tell me how you perceived my answer? I've re-read my answer and don't have anything standing out to me as ahh... difficult? wrong? It would help me to understand what your interpenetration is, so I can incorporate that point of view into my thinking – TolMera Sep 19 '18 at 13:08
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    One of the reasons I am here it so learn to be a better writer/communicator. I think sometimes in my early stages here, I was perceived as harsh or too direct. I personally don't think your answer ( quit and find another job ) is particularly useful, but its not what I would call bad or harsh. – Neo♦ Sep 19 '18 at 13:12
  • @TolMera to be fair, your answer was possibly voted on the original revision before you provided the alternative, and the community judged the answer, using their votes, that your answer wasn't particularly useful (the downvote tooltip says that). Nothing wrong with the system. You're free to write a contentious answer, but you should also be prepared for the downvotes if the community thinks that's not a useful answer.. – Andrew T. Sep 20 '18 at 4:47

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