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How do you forgive/let go/move on from a bully ex employer

This got closed as off topic: questions require a goal we can address.

I've edited to make the goal clear by adding a sentence to the end of the question, stating the goal.

I'm hoping that if others agree, this will be voted to re-open. Or, we could get further edits to make the question acceptable.

I think it represents a valuable question for this site, worth investing some time in to in terms of edits (and answers!) since many employees get really hung up thinking about the problems in their old workplace. Having a question that discusses strategies to address that problem could help many people.

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    "I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's a mental health issue instead of a question about interpersonal workplace issues or behaviour in workplace-related scenarios." - what about that? – Dukeling Oct 30 '19 at 16:35
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    The edits are way better, and IMO make it answerable. It is open now. – Mister Positive Oct 30 '19 at 16:42
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    @RichardU Sure, it is "a workplace issue", but that doesn't necessarily mean it's on topic. That's why I specifically mentioned interpersonal / behaviour in the "instead" part. Interpersonal Skills SE has a policy about closing question where a mental health issue came about as a result of an interpersonal issue (and similar questions on every other site would probably also be closed), because they're not therapists. We aren't either. – Dukeling Oct 30 '19 at 16:49
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    frustration with and dwelling on the past are normal issues, both in the workplace and generally. Fairly easily fixed through various strategies, no need for therapy. – Kilisi Oct 30 '19 at 16:56
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    We're workplace experts, but everything I read in the answers draw from experience or expertise with mental health that might not even be workplace-related at all. They do not draw on expertise specific to the workplace and can be applied pretty much word-for-word to similar non-workplace scenarios. I'm also not saying "they need therapy", but rather that the question just fundamentally doesn't belong here. – Dukeling Oct 30 '19 at 16:58
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    thats because I only gave one strategy, my personal strategy of giving the guy a kicking since he's no longer my boss, wouldn't be ideal in many locales and cultures. – Kilisi Oct 30 '19 at 16:59
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    @RichardU What's the point of rules if people don't follow them? If something's against the rules, it should be removed (closed / deleted). You're free to try to help them as well by pointing them somewhere more appropriate, posting a comment, posting an answer (before it's closed) or engaging with them in chat. If you're arguing that we should change the rules, or that this isn't against the rules to begin with, I disagree, but fair enough. – Dukeling Oct 30 '19 at 17:06
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    I agree with @Dukeling. The question could be "How do you forgive/let go/move on from a bully" and would have the same "Seek professional help", "Get a hobby", "Exercise", "Give it time", etc. This is a moving on or mental health issue. That said, if someone has mental health expertise and wants to answer, go for it. While I don't think we should provide medical advice, that doesn't seem to actually stop anyone. – Joe Strazzere Oct 30 '19 at 17:11
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    @Dukeling What's the point in having laws if maximum sentences aren't universally given? We have a bit of leeway, we have a bit of discretion, and someone is hurting. We can bend the rules a bit from time to time to help someone. – Richard Says Reinstate Monica Oct 30 '19 at 17:13
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    Rules are just soft guidelines, mods interpret them however suits them, SE interprets them whatever... etc,. – Kilisi Oct 30 '19 at 17:13
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    @RichardU - thus we should never close any question. I'm okay with that. – Joe Strazzere Oct 30 '19 at 17:16
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    @RichardU - I agree. However many still rush to close questions without ever attempting to answer or help in any way. I'm not sure why this particular question would be any different. – Joe Strazzere Oct 30 '19 at 17:22
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    @RichardU Unfortunately this leeway would apply to too many question askers, since people who ask for help usually need help. It would be comparable to completely ignoring all petty crime, because there are usually strong situational factors behind such crime (such as poverty). Of course locking people up for life also doesn't make sense. But then we're not banning people after having one of their questions closed, and we can still help them while closing the question, so I'm really struggling to understand your reasoning. – Dukeling Oct 30 '19 at 17:29
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    Help is our primary concern. I'm all for giving the benefit of the doubt to questions approaching the edge. – Kilisi Oct 30 '19 at 18:17
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    Just want to say thanks to everyone for discussing in comments. It's always nice to see people willing to express their opinions on things like this in a helpful and respectful manner. – dwizum Oct 31 '19 at 15:19

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